Originally Posted on Facebook on January 22nd, 2022
So my Wife and I just concluded watching the TV series Mom, here are many thoughts.
First, about Chuck Lorre. If you don’t know who Chuck Lorre is, he is a TV show creator most famously know for Two and Half Men (a show about a bunch of men searching for sex) and the Big Bang Theory (a show about a bunch of nerds looking for sex, minus Sheldon). Chuck decided to take a slightly different turn with Mom, which is a show about a bunch of middle-aged recovering alcoholic women searching for sex. Now, the fascinating thing about Chuck and these shows, is that even though a great deal of his shows revolves around the search for sex, he still manages to make the characters very real and eventually near and dear to our hearts by providing great character development and real gut-wrenching moments. I applaud Chuck for choosing a unique set of society to focus this show around, a group of people that honestly is quite unrepresented.
Second, about the show. It was quite refreshing to watch a show about women dealing with real problems, and quite often outside the realm of men. The show was funny (even though the laugh track on some of the situations was quite odd), and quite often brutally honest and sincere. The show did suffer from what it seemed a lot of overall direction changes, as it shifted from the main character struggling to keep her family together, to the main character and her friends in AA, to her almost being forgotten and the show focusing more on her mother. (As a side note, I feel bad for Anna Faris co-starring beside Allison Janney, and then eventually being overshadowed by Allison, because she is an unreal actress). However, at the same time, I feel like the number of loose ends left in that show over its seasons is probably a very good representation of what life would be like constantly living with a community of people with alcohol addiction. There was more real and powerful character deaths in that show than I’ve seen in many other shows (with their deaths, funerals, and the aftermath portrayed in the episodes). It somehow turned the rock bottom of people’s lives into something that was worth watching for the laughs, the tears, and the struggles of not giving up, and having to let go.
Third, moving forward with this show in my brain. I was quite surprised how much content in this show turned out to be amazing anecdotes and object lessons for real life. I’m sure my wife could share how many times I brought up situations in the show over the last few months to help guide my decision making in dealing with people. It’s very rare to watch a show that can both inspire to make you a better person, and to also provide tools and knowledge on how to do that better. The characters in the show were constantly getting into fights and having to make up for it, which many shows do. I think a difference in this show was that the jokes focused on the characters learning to exist like human beings and constantly working on their real faults, instead of other shows that use people’s silly characters faults to create hilarious comedy-of-errors-situations, and then never resolve them. When these characters screwed up, things imploded; it wasn’t funny anymore, and it got fixed. Not only that, but the characters would also live in a constant state of support for their friends no matter the situation, something that suburbia has tried very hard to take away.
Lastly, what this means for us people also trying to be good. I think a lot of the time churches (or us looking at church’s) think that it is a bastion of good in the world. That we are the light of the world shining our goodness down on others. When in reality, I feel like us church folk are struggling to keep our lives together just as much as anyone else. I’ve been through a lot of awkward ‘Bible studies’ in my life where the most important thing is Biblical education followed by some community afterward. The representation of AA in Mom showed a group that focused on community first, and then education if you stuck around long enough. I wonder how church would change if we adapted a more “sinners anonymous” approach to small groups that allowed us to freely express our addiction to selfishness and the things in our daily life that drive us to that, without the need to provide advice, or a bible verse or easy encouragement that tries to push the dirt away. I think us as Christians are too focused to put on a perfect face and act like the good Christian, myself included, when we should be the first to expose ourselves as the wretched sinners we are. I feel like I have really recently struggled to deal with my selfishness of needing to be right, to feel like I’m the smartest, or the humblest, or the most informed person in the room. This has manifested into comments on Facebook (or rants to my wife that never made it to the internet) that were horribly judgemental, and dismissive of what another person is truly feeling, even though I can pick apart an argument or provide better sources. I’m doing it to feel right, and that’s wrong. It doesn’t matter what the other person is saying, because I have no power to control them, and only have the power to control myself. I hope we as a society can all work together to figure out how to properly communicate with each other online, or we all collectively agree to get rid of the damned thing. I definitely have not figured it out yet.
My hope for the future is that this pandemic transforms churches from beacons of content to living spaces for the sharing of hurt, pain, and struggles, and bastions of supply and support for the lost, the forgotten, and for the greatest and least of our societies, as we are all in the same need of mercy, grace, forgiveness, and a chance to amend our wrongdoings. We have caused so much pain during this pandemic to our own people by sticking to our politics or talking points, instead of both asking for and providing help. Because by helping others, we help ourselves too.
